I’m so glad I decided to Breathe

19 10 2009

This past weekend I attended the Breathe writers Conference in Grand Haven, MI. In my last post I wrote about how nervous I was to attend.  Then I lost my voice on Thursday night & foolishly thought that it would get better by the morning & that I’d be able to minimally talk at the conference to preserve my voice. For those of you that know me, I’m sure you read that last line and laughed out loud, the idea of me minimally talking is about as likely as Obama deciding to have a pool with a water slide and tiki bar installed on the south lawn with the Nobel Peace prize money he just won.

"write the words, change the world"

"write the words, change the world"

Though it was really hard to minimize my talking I did meet some great people were wonderful to connect with and we’re now talking about starting a writers group together! Here are some of the things I took away from the conference.

  • Rejection is part of the writing experience. If I’m going to write, I just need to suck it up and deal with it. Cecil Murphey
    Cecil Murphey

    Cecil Murphey

    was the keynote speaker & as a seasoned writer of books like 90 Minutes in Heaven and Gifted Hands he shared about how much rejection he’s received during his 25 years in the writing business but also how God has encouraged him to keep going. It was heartening to hear from him and to know that the fear of rejection never really goes away no matter how accomplished you may be as a writer.

  • Pick a place, any place. Many of the writers shared stories about how they muscled through and wrote their books in places like spidery basements, on the ride to their son’s hockey games, sitting at their kitchen table or staring out the window watching kids play after returning home from school. Some people did share about the beautiful space they created for their writing time, but I think everyone was encouraged by the people who were able to get Jedi and focus in on the writing regardless of what their surroundings were like. This helped to hear because I don’t think I’ll have my fantasy writers home overlooking the waves of Lake Michigan anytime soon :)
  • God is with me and is able to direct me. I don’t know why I was continually surprised to hear each writer share about their times of communication with God in the midst of writing. Or to hear how God has helped each one of them to embrace who he has created them to be as they are faithful to use their writing gifts. Though I am always encouraging others to think holistically about their faith, for some reason this weekend felt like “duh, God is with me ALWAYS! in every area of life! Why would he not be present in the midst of writing, creative ideas and my fears about sharing what I’ve written!”
the fabulous Lorilee Craker. Her writing advice: "God is my agent" 10 books later, this seems to be true.

the fabulous Lorilee Craker. Her writing advice: "God is my agent" 10 books later, this seems to be true.

  • Solitude and Community are necessary. In many of the sessions, writers share about the need to protect what you’ve written until you have the inner nudge that it’s time to share it with others. Cecil shared about how our inner critic can actually be a good thing when we’re in solitude because it helps us to self-reflect on what we’re afraid of in being vulnerable. All of the writers shared about their growth, challenge and encouragement being in writers groups over the years. My “sneaky prayer” going into the conference was that God would connect me with people who I could begin one of these groups with. I am really thankful he answered even this prayer that I didn’t pray!

I feel much more equipped to begin seriously pursuing writing with some of the key things I learned this weekend. It’s making me look forward to my sabbatical even more now that I’ll have space to get to work on the ideas I have. Thanks again to Lorilee who made it possible for me to go! Here is the latest idea that seems like a crazy dream- a historical fiction novel on St. Patrick. His story fascinates me & I’d love to research it more and to take a trip to visit the places he traveled.

so many ideas, now I just need to get crackin!

so many ideas, now I just need to get crackin!





I’m feeling nervous to Breathe

15 10 2009

This weekend my kind friend and author Lorilee Craker is taking me to the Breathe writers conference.  I am feeling so excited and nervous to go! Here are the reasons I feel nervous:

  • People who are serious about writing go to writers conferences. This commits me to being more serious and intentional about writing. This is scary. This is taking a step towards a dream rather than just dreaming.
  • Will I seem like a poser amongst serious writers? I know not everyone there will be a published author, but it is still a little intimidating to be with so many gifted people!
  • Will I discover that I don’t have what it takes to be a writer after all? Sure, I can crack out a few blogs about eating healthy or weird websites, but to pursue an actual in-the-flesh-paper-book that is authored by moi? That feels WAAAY bigger and more scary.
hmmm, I suppose if Ms. Piggy can write a book, little old moi could as well...

hmmm, I suppose if Ms. Piggy can write a book, little old moi could as well...

Here is why I’m excited.

  • I’m hoping that going to Breathe amongst other things will help me to focus on what I’d like to write. I have a lot of ideas buzzing around my head- everything from books on postmodern evangelism, to stories of growing up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan to essays similar to what I write on my blog. Part of why I started this blog is just to have a place to write & see what comes out. It’s been a little like a mental mirror for me to have a place where my thoughts are reflected back to me and to see how people interact with my ideas. I’ll admit it- I’m a comment glutton- I love-love-love when people comment on my posts because it affirms that I’m connecting with people. That’s half the fun of blogging!
  • mirror, mirror on the blog am I a writer or is this a mental monologue?

    mirror, mirror on the blog am I a writer or is this a silly monologue?

  • I’m actually going to have space in my life to write while I’m on sabbatical starting in January. Starting now on focusing on what project I want to write will enable me to start soon rather than dithering around to figure out what I want to write when I have the space to do so. In fact, my friend Beth has already begun to help me do this, which I’m really grateful for.
  • I love networking! It is always so stimulating being around people who are interested in pursuing the same things yet may have a very different perspective than I do. I’m also just looking forward to hanging out with Lorilee because she’s a whole barrel of Canadian fun.

It starts tomorrow Friday at noon and goes until Saturday afternoon, so I’ll probably blog about it after I attend rather than during. So wish me luck- say a little prayer & ask me how it went next week!

Anne Lamott, one of my writing inspirations. Her book "Bird by Bird" on writing is so great.

Anne Lamott, one of my writing inspirations. Her book "Bird by Bird" on writing is so great.





We should mate, uh, I mean date!

17 09 2009

Doesn’t dating make you crazy sometimes?  I was out with some girlfriends awhile ago on a Saturday night at Republic and as we were watching the brigade of mini-skirt clad ladies make their way upstairs, primly holding stems of martini glasses to make sure not to spill, we mused on life as married women who have taken ourselves off the meat market.

I’m so glad that I don’t have to get hooched up anymore hoping to hook up with a guy when I go out!” quipped one of my friends as she popped a salted edamame out of it’s fuzzy pod and into her mouth. “Yeah, it gets so tiresome hoping you’ll find someone- I don’t miss that at all” chimed in my other friend.  ”true- but remember the anticipation of getting ready to go out? Not knowing what will happen, who you’ll meet, where the night will end up? I replied. Now when we get ready to go out, we’re usually with our husbands and there’s no anticipation. You know you’ll go home, have sex and then go to sleep.” We all were silent for a minute, listening to the clink of glasses and the soft thump of  techno music in the background- probably thinking about the difference of how it felt anticipating a night out with your spouse instead of a night out with, well anyone you might meet. “yeah” said one of my girlfriends nodding wistfully. “true” said another one smiling.

Despite the feelings or ideas that single people are having more fun, better sex and are free to generally enjoy life more, there has been numerous books written on the topic of married sex from all sorts of perspectives- sociologial, psychologial and spiritual.  A quick amazon search of “married sex” yielded these books results:

The Case for Marriage: why married people are happier, healthier, and better off financially

Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

One of my friends Lorilee has written books on “how to keep the spark alive” once you’re married, and especially if you have kids in books like Date Night in a Minivan and the one below:

check out http://www.lorileecraker.com/ for more of her books!

check out http://www.lorileecraker.com/ for more of her books!

The truth is that sometimes when you’re married it can feel a lot like the quote from Ben Stiller’s character in Dodgeball that I used for the title of this blog “we should mate, I mean date” than the exciting gut-wrenching anticipation of dating as a single person. Though research claims that Married People have better sex than single people- a bunch of data doesn’t really do much to spice up your love life!

Lorilee and I joked awhile ago that shows like The Bachelor or Bachelorette should throw couples in real life situations rather than these crazy idealistic and romantic situations! How’s this for a plot line: “a bachelor sees which 12 women he best connects with as they figure out how to divide household chores, cook dinner together and babysit a toddler.” I think it’d be like a cross between SuperNanny/WifeSwap/and The Bachelor :)

Last week Dave and I went on a date to the sixth street bridge park in Grand Rapids.  We packed a picnic of sandwiches, veggies and dip, homemade dilly potato salad that Dave had made earlier that day. Rather than just doing paper plates and plastic forks, we wrapped our real plates, glasses and cutlery in blue cloth napkins and tucked a blanket into the bag to sit on while we enjoyed dinner.

there is a sweet little park overlooking this bridge and the river of downtown GR

there is a sweet little park overlooking this bridge and the river of downtown GR

As we sipped wine from the vineyard in Ithaca, NY we visited on my birthday we enjoyed the sunlight glinting off the Grand River, the clouds drifting through the blue sky and the sound of cars creaking over the historic bridge. I simply felt content and happy.

six mile creek vineyard is such a quaint place- check it out at http://www.sixmilecreek.com/

six mile creek vineyard is such a quaint place- check it out at http://www.sixmilecreek.com/

It was so enjoyable to sit and relax uninterrupted conversation, take a break from the routine of life, catch up with things we’d been thinking about and just savor each others company. Thank God for grandparents who love to babysit! We walked around downtown GR & listened to some music that was playing outdoors & then headed to dairy queen where we got some dessert.  This date cost a total of $4.51! Sometimes I think that the things that are the simplest can be the most enjoyable because there isn’t so much hype around them to have them “feel special.”

So, if you’re married what are ways you’ve enjoyed “dating” your spouse? Whether you’re married or single, what has been one of your favorite dates lately? If you’re not dating- what did you do with a friend lately that made you feel loved and appreciated?








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