wife points

28 12 2011

“you don’t get wife points for calling your husband a butt” our babysitter Nita guffawed after my derogitory derriere related remark directed at Dave while frantically racing around the kitchen trying to load the dishwasher with cereal bowls, put away the milk and get out the door to get some work done.

A few weeks before that I had been at Nita’s dorm room to pick up the kids after she and her roommate Rachel had kindly watched them so Dave and I could see a play (the perks of working with college students!).  Rachel, Nita and I have ongoing conversations about gender roles in society, the church and marriage- the fun things you talk about in college when you’re trying to figure out- “what does it actually mean to be a woman?” and “what sort of a woman am I/do I want to become?” “what sort of wife will I be?”

On their dorm wall a piece of notebook paper was taped with both of their names on it, and a series of tally marks.  ”What’s the chart for?” I asked, glancing at Rachel as I loaded Oswald into his carseat.  Nita’s face began to turn red and she started laughing as Rachel smiled and said- “that’s our wife training chart. We give each other points for doing things that will make us good wives someday.”  Knowing that neither Nita or Rachel, funny, smart, ambitious, hipster students came to college to get their M.R.S. degree, I curiously asked, “so what kinds of things do you get wife points for?” Inwardly I was thinking:  there has to be an off the charts wife point tally for having sex with your husband when you don’t feel like it but decided it probably wasn’t a good idea to suggest adding that to the chart for two unmarried college students.

After regaling me and laughing together about their list of doing dishes, changing a diaper for the first time thanks to my 5-month old son, dressing stylish, and cooking/baking I drove home that night recalling doing something similar in college.  My roommates and I, trying to imagine what it would be like to be a wife someday dressed up in a bubble-gum pink Lawrence Welk-esque dress and took turns posing for pictures with a pan of meatlof ready to load into the oven. I’m away from home currently and don’t have access to the picture but the one above is pretty close to what we looked like (complete with heels).

Their wife points chart made me think about what I thought it would be like to be a wife when I was in college.  And then it made me reflect on what life has actually been like for nearly 10 years.  Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet; “there is always truth in jest” and though posing with pans of meatloaf and making tally marks for changing diapers  is an amusing way to try and envision what life as a spouse looks like, it points to a deeper fear of constrictive gender roles.  The questions lurking in the back of my mind all those years ago, and I suspect in Nita and Rachel’s ask “will I be able to be both feminine and powerful?” “Can I be both ambitious and loving?” “will I have a spouse that encourages me to pursue my dreams and gives me the freedom to do so?”

My list of “wife points” would be very different than when I made that proverbial list in college. The list would include things like:

  • Picking up pumpkin bagels for your husband just because he likes them. Wife points: 10
  • Forgiving your husband when he breaks a lamp while using it to illuminate a wall where installing an outlet instead of using a flashlight. Wife points: 15
  • Listening to stories about sports/kung-fu/hunting/electronics/star trek and being glad to hear about it because it’s something your husband loves and you want to care for him. Wife points: 25
  • Sampling your husbands home-brewed beer or other creations with believable enthusiasm (aka- I’m happy you have a hobby). Wife points: 40
  • Successfully navigating creating a three-month schedule of events, childcare responsibilities, and work travel while remaining kind and peaceful. Wife points: 50
  • Choosing to love your husband and bake him cookies for Valentines day even though you are still smarting from the hurtful things he has said the day before and not holding a grudge and actually being happy to see him. Wife points: 75
  • Respecting the committments you have both made to be financially prudent and stick with a budget, sucking it up and returning the killer ankle boots that were 70% off and resisting the mental sound track of “I deserve these.. he never lets me buy…he just bought a….I need these…” Wife points: 125
  • Having sex with your husband after a day of cleaning poop off of children, making dinner, cleaning the house, having a 2-hour conference call to plan an event, writing a talk that you have to give the next day and choosing to emotionally engage with each other while being intimate. Wife points: off. the. chart.

Being a wife is far harder than I ever imagined it to be. Actively forgiving is more difficult than scouring a pan crusted with burnt-on grease.  Choosing to love requires much more than the effort than putting on a pink chiffon dress and looking pretty. Believing you are each others advocates instead of enemies requires the kind of love Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13:4-  “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

For many those words have long been forgotten after they’ve been read by your second cousin who your mom required to do something in your wedding ceremony. Yet they become much more potent in the years after the honeymoon is over. Especially on the days where you call your husband a butt because you’re mad at him. So friends- my question to you is what would make your wife points list?  How is being a wife more difficult or better than you thought about before you got married?


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things to do while waiting for a baby

15 07 2011

No such luck having baby fick #2 arrive on his due date like Reuben!  Yesterday was my due date & no sign of the little guy yet.  For the past two weeks there have been days where I have been in false labor, even going to the hospital once to be sent home, which was a major bummer.  So here is how I’ve been passing my time.

Baking:

Blueberry-raspberry pound cake

Blueberry-raspberry pound cake for the 4th of July.  It was like fruity fireworks in a cake! I didn’t take a picture of mine but you get the idea of what it looked like from this other one. It was great to enjoy a slice with our friends Joyce, Mark, Pam & the crew hosted for a BBQ at our friends the Fell’s. Check out the  recipe if you’re interested in baking your own.

Espresso Carmel bars

Enjoyed last year at a friends bridal shower, these espresso carmel bars are the upscale equivalent of a homemade twix bar. Thankfully I had book club last week which deterred me from eating the other 1/2 of the pan. This is a food network recipe you can check out here.  I subbed in a Starbucks via packet for the instant espresso and I didn’t use a candy thermometer, just let the homemade carmel bubble until it looked gooey enough.

Almost Starbucks Blueberry Oat bars

A few years ago after enjoying one of these blueberry bars at Starbucks, I realized it would probably be pretty easy to make them myself. Turns out, it is pretty easy especially when blueberries are in season and are abundant where you live. If you’ve got some blueberries that need to be used and your onerous tooth is demanding some sweets, check out the recipe.

Though I’d love to paint the rest of my dining room, starting a big project like that when I could go into labor at any moment seems crazy.  Stopping mid-recipe seems much more practical and is helping me to inch towards my important goal of hitting 200 lbs- woo hoo!

Working:

Though I was supposed to stop working last week, I couldn’t bring myself to stop even the few things I have going for work right now.  So, fund development, reading, and scheduling for the fall have helped to take my mind off things as well. I really enjoyed reviewing On The Verge for Zondervan’s blog tour of the book- you can check out other reviewers here.

Watching movies: old Sophia Loren movies, Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows pt. 1 & Knocked Up. I am not typically superstitious, but since we had watched Knocked Up the night before Reuben was born we had an encore. Plus, there was a full moon, also a factor that was present the night Reuben was born. No dice with baby #2. Consolation prize? Getting to go see Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows pt. 2 today!

Thinking of snarky replies to people who make comments about still being pregnant: Though I rarely say any of the things I’m thinking, I have little tolerance for Debbie Downer/pessimistic people’s comments.

“you’re still pregnant?” no I’m just still fat.
“aren’t you frustrated the baby hasn’t arrived yet?” Not as frustrated as I am with your comments.
“Has the baby arrived yet?” Do you really think I’d post random crap on facebook if I had pictures of our baby to post?
When we went to the beach last Saturday after being sent home from the hospital the night before a guy at the beach asked me when I was due- “next week” I replied, to which his only comment was, “oh my God!” I just had no idea how to respond to that. Did he think that I shouldn’t be at the beach so close to my due date? That I was too big to be at the beach? That I was crazy for not being at home sitting around and waiting for the baby to come? I have no idea, so I just dove into the cool waters of Lake Erie to wash away all these annoying comments.

It’s also been great to enjoy time with Reuben before my attention is divided among two boys- there have been lots of Cars 2 lego escapades, coloring, going to the pool and playing trains together.

So, while we wait for little guy, I’ll be enjoying yummy desserts and watching good movies and hopefully keeping snarky comments to myself.


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melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

29 03 2011

Though the chocolate may melt in my mouth, I still have blood on my hands. A few weeks ago I was supposed to give a talk at Oakland University on Everyday Justice drawing from themes from Julie Clawson’s book by the same name.

As I did research, read her book and scoured online articles and websites I thought about themes on everyday justice that would connect most with students living in the affluent suburbs that border derelict Detroit; While cars and clothing might have been good choices for a school where students sport coach tennis shoes & drive Escalades but chocolate seemed like an easier thing to tackle in a 30 minute talk on why following Jesus means we should care about justice issues.

Check out Julie's book and website at: http://julieclawson.com/everyday-justice/

I started to dig a little to find out how purchasing one of my favorite sweet treats can be a choice for everyday justice.  I felt like Neo being sucked into the Matrix for the first time, without the creepy plug being inserted into the back of my neck- “you think you see the world correctly? Well, let me show you what’s actually going on…” I started to learn some things like:

  • 43% of the world’s chocolate comes from the West African country of Ivory Coast.  Most of the cocoa beans are harvested by young boys between 12 and 16, some as young as 9.  These boys have been sold or tricked into slavery with the promise of a better life and supporting their family.  Stories like Brahima and Siaka’s are common:  ”Dote Coulibaly was waiting in Korhogo. He needed two boys to work on his cocoa and coffee farm. Coulibaly (COO-lee-baa-lee) said he bought Brahima and Siaka for $28 each, but the boys said he paid that much for both of them. Whatever the price, two days later they found themselves on his farm. ”When we arrived, he had not told us the whole story,” said Brahima. “He told us we would work only in the cocoa and coffee fields. But there were also cotton, yam, corn and rice fields. When you finish one field, you go to another and another.” Nearly half of the world’s cocoa beans come from Ivory Coast farms, some of which use boys like Brahima and Siaka who were sold or tricked into slavery to do the harvesting.”

Often boys are beaten if they can't carry the bags or spill cocoa beans.

 

  • Americans spent $13 billion a year on chocolate- yet most of us, including myself had no idea where it came from or how it was produced (uhhh, I bought the twix at Walmart…?)
  • Though the U.S. and international governments have been working to establish slave-free chocolate through initiatives created in 2001 like the Harkin-Engel protocol, little has been done in companies like Nestle, Hershey or Mars to actually comply with these protocols and eliminate slave-produced chocolates in their goal of doing so by 2005.

While over the past six years I have worked with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship staff and students to raise awareness about and funds to eliminate child sex slavery- I’ve realized the issue doesn’t stop there. Especially now as a mom I am horrified and angered to think that the bunnies and eggs I am stuffing my sons easter basket were produced by someone’s son or brother who was forced into slavery. The chocolate may melt in my mouth, but I still have blood on my hands.

As a Christian, I care about this issue and ending human trafficking at large because Christ’s love compels me to love my neighbor.  Thinking about the injustice and sacrifice of others makes me think about how to appropriately celebrate Easter this year, both commercially and spiritually.  The scripture in 2 Corinthians 5:11-21 especially hits home in thinking about both of these issues; “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.  And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again“

I seriously could not believe this was one of the images that came up when I searched "snickers" in google images.

Because God made a way to demonstrate love and freedom for me through Jesus, how can I do anything but demonstrate this same love for others?

Practically one of the ways you can live out everyday justice regardless of your spirituality or motivations is to use your cash.  There are great companies that provide fair-trade chocolates especially for Easter.  Since I really am a sucker for advertising, I was thrilled to realize many products are also cute & kid-friendly.

I thought this was a cute twist on the traditional basket.

 

The Natural Candy store, a mom & sister store has a lot of cute items for Easter that are fair-trade, organic and in many cases allergen-free, including the cute item pictured above.

Divine chocolate is co-owned by cocoa farmers and uses fair-trade practices.

Divine Chocolate also has some fun Easter themed candies, like one of my personal faves- the crunchy speckled eggs that you can order through their website or purchase at Whole Foods.  Divine has a cool story & their website is worth checking out to see some of the great things that are being done to change the chocolate industry.  Though it may be something small like spending less on Easter Candy at Target, it really does feel great to know you can be part of changing the chocolate industry, savor the chocolate as it melts in your mouth, and know that you are creating a better future for others.


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mailman alex

3 03 2011

MAILMAN ALEX!!! DO YOU HAVE MY HENRY TRAIN!!! Reuben belted out whenever he saw our friendly mailman Alex heading down our sidewalk wondering if his missing train had arrived in the mail. (thank you carole for sending it!)  This summer I noticed our mailman sitting in his mail truck munching on a sandwich reading sports illustrated on his lunch break. At times I was a little irritated that he’d park in front of his house, guilty that I was inside enjoying air conditioning while he was sitting in a hot mail truck, or wondered if anyone ever invited him in for a meal or glass of water.

rain or shine, Alex always comes through and brings my weekly fix of Entertainment Weekly!

While I was still on sabbatical one of the most significant differences I noticed in my life was the ability to spontaneously care for and serve the needs of others.  Though I was writing papers and reading a lot, my thoughts weren’t occupied with the next talk I had to write and deliver, the next set of fundraising appointments or meetings to attend.  I found myself being much more attentive of the small ways I could care for people.  It felt great to cook a meal for a friend and her family after hearing she had thrown her back out. I enjoyed time to stop and talk with my elderly grandmother without needing to rush off to the next thing.

 

On one of those days we saw Alex the weather had turned colder yet he still sat huddled in his truck, eating his sandwich listening to his iPod.  We had some leftover soup and Dave was home for lunch that day so I asked him to invite Alex in for lunch with us.  Though it wasn’t much, Alex seemed glad to share a meal with us and tell us a little about his life. Turns out he has a son a little older than Reuben that he had with his ex-wife so we had a lot to talk about what it’s like to have a preschool boy. Reuben also thought it was pretty cool that Mailman Alex got to eat lunch with us.

so much of life happens around meals. even if you're a vampire who doesn't actually eat food.

Now that I’m back at work, pregnant and managing all the other areas of life the mental and emotional space to spontaneously care for others seems to be squeezed out by deadlines, errands and the feeling that I won’t be able to accomplish all that I have in a given day.  Things like being able to invite our mailman in to eat lunch with my son and husband seem like one extra thing to do in the day beyond all that I already have going on.  But that’s the difficult thing about caring for others- it’s rarely convenient.  This was probably the biggest thing I learned during my sabbatical year- my ministry often gets in the way of my witness. Though I am doing good things with college students what happens when I’m off the clock?  What about all the people around me that need to see Jesus demonstrated in practical ways, want someone to genuinely listen and care for them and simply recognize that they are present? I know I can’t do this all the time, but each time I see Alex’s mail truck in front of our house I find myself wondering what it will take to invite him into our lives again without running through the mental to-do list first.

How about you? Where do you find yourself struggling to make space for spontaneous service? What are ways it’s just become a normal part of your life?  There are so many people I know that do an amazing job of just making it a priority like they do with any other important thing in their life.


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plateaus

16 07 2010

What do you do when you find yourself plateauing in an area of life?

image from lilyxu.net

I’m remembering the good ol’ days of my posts on healthy eating and exercise. I was uber-motivated to run and lift weights three times a week, make sure to get my serving of 5 fruits and veggies a day & really mindful of how I was caring for my body.  It’s not that I’ve fallen off the wagon completely- eating 5 fruits and veggies a day has become part of my life. But in the last three months of moving to OH, focusing on raising $20,000 finishing two papers for grad school and completing the reading for the class I’m taking this week this is how my train of thought has gone:

1. At least these gnocci in cream sauce have peas in it! The strawberries on my ice cream count too!
2. At least I’m still walking a couple times a week/hauling boxes into a moving truck even if it’s not running or lifting weights!
3. At least I can take a nap while Reuben sleeps because I’m so exhausted.

You get the picture. It’s been a little more of survival in the midst of transition mode as opposed to “my life has a steady rhythm which I can build some healthy rhythms into.”

I know it won’t always be like this but its been difficult to think about where I’ve been with self-discipline  with exercise and eating and to realize that I’ve gained seven five pounds in the past three months. The blog title in my head has been “is weight gain during life transitions inevitable?” Maybe you can relate.

I was thinking about what scripture says about this in the book of ecclesiastes, chapter 3-

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Even if you’ve never read the bible, you’re probably familiar with these sayings because the Byrds made them popular in their song Turn! Turn! Turn! and now we can hear scripture on classic rock stations.

I remember my mom once quoted this song to point out why it was a good idea to “refrain from embracing” and not make out with boyfriends in public. good idea mom. horny high schoolers and PDA gross everyone out.

Maybe right now has been “a time for gnocchi in cream sauce, taking walks to slow down, pray and reflect instead of running, a time to unpack boxes instead of lift weights, a time to focus on creating a new life in Cleveland and a time to read like crazy for grad school”

So friends, what do you do in the midst of crazy life transitions to care for your self? I could use some encouragement & advice right now. Oh, and maybe some chocolate ;)


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the healthy snack attack

24 02 2010

Stereotypically men crave more salty snacks and women crave sweet snacks. Which serves to confirm my theory that I think more like a dude when it comes to eating habits (not to mention other areas of life).  Since trying to fight the february flab I’ve tried to be more conscious about eating fruits and veggies and adding strength training to doing yoga & walking. I am always amazed at how quickly the body begins to transform when you add lifting weights into the routine!  Happily, the muffin stuffin’ has decreased from code red to code orange in just two weeks of being more aware of what I was eating & spending some time doing workouts from exercisetv.tv. Wait, I think code orange is terrorist attack, or is it missing child? There aren’t any missing children or terrorists in my stomach to clear things up.

Anyways, in an attempt to try and get more fruits & veggies into my day I’ve had to rethink the snacks that I eat. I much prefer eating smaller meals & snacks throughout the day. Typically I eat three snacks during the day/night & try to make at least two of them fruit or veggies.  I always feel like veggies are more difficult to work in- sitting down with a bowl of creamed corn or roasted cauliflower doesn’t sound very appetizing even if it does fullfill the salty craving. Carrot sticks with dressing gets old after awhile & you also need to chop them up if you don’t like baby carrots/

Lately, I’ve been eating edamame for one of my snacks during the day. And actually I’m snacking on them right now as I type this post! These have been a great way to get a serving of veggies & hit the salty craving.

yummers! you can get these in the frozen food aisle most places- and in bulk at costco

These fill me up, satisfy my salty snack craving- are high protein and fiber & low in carbs. Plus they’re easy to cook in the microwave and are fun to eat sprinkled with a little sea salt.  It’s a little like the vegetable alternative of eating sunflower seeds- popping them into your mouth from the pods yet tasting the salt that has been sprinkled on the outside.

"me & jenny, we's like peas & carrots"

What are ways you work fruits & veggies into your day? Have you found any good salty or sweet snacks that are still relatively healthy?

Real Simple just featured a soup including edamame & yummy asian dumplings that I’ve been wanting to try. Here’s the link for the recipe if you’re feel the urge to try some edamame and want to incorporate them into some other recipes.

doesn't this look good? photo from realsimple.com


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friday fluff- the McOlympian

19 02 2010

I read this blog on NPR today & cracked up about McDonald’s being a sponsor of the Olympics.  I’ve thought about the irony of Mcdonald’s being a sponsor for the most prestigious athletic competitions in the world for awhile & how no athlete is going to fuel up on protien and carbs from a big mac & fries! That said, I generally try to not be cynical but this blog echoed my sentiments exactly. It seems like their sponsorship of the olympics is a way to manage their tarnished image from movies like supersize me.

That said, since most of us will never compete in the olympics but still want to take care of our bodies can you actually eat healthily at McDonalds?  Where do you eat when you’re in a hurry but want to eat healthy? My sister was telling me about the shocked look on the face of moms from her son’s school when they suggested going to McDonald’s for lunch when Rachel’s son asked “what’s McDonalds?” If you know my sister, you’ll roll your eyes because she is a gorgeous woman who is also an amazing cook and loves food! Besides, her poison is Taco Bell :)

I actually am a sucker for the golden arches. more than any other fast food restaurant that is where I go if I’m in a rush, there isn’t a panera or jimmy johns available for healthier options.  The funny thing is that  I used to feel like all was lost if I stepped into a Mcdonald’s- like I needed to eat a big mac & giant fries, washed down, of course, with a diet coke- that it was the worst option or no option. Just because you eat there doesn’t mean you need to eat everything there!

Even at McDonald’s I try to stick with my strive for five principle, ordering a side salad off the $1 menu or some apple dippers without the carmel sauce.  True- it won’t be the best salad in the world but at least it’s vegetables that aren’t fried!  If I do get fries, which I try not to do that often, I’ll order a small & split it with Dave so I can enjoy the taste without the supersize. Splitting fries with Reuben is a lost cause- even if I steal one, he’ll cry out in horror- “that’s MY french fry!!!” I once spit the partially chewed fry back out to see what he’d do. He ate it anyways. My son has a deep love of french fries.

Even small choices at McD’s can save you calories- a 6-piece mcnugget is 280 calories compared to a double cheeseburger at 440 calories. You wouldn’t think it’d be that big of a difference- but every healthier choice ends up paying off! If you’re on the road a lot and don’t have many healthy options, it’s worth it to check the nutritional information for fast food locations listed online to know what you’re eating.  Spending 5 minutes doing a little research can help you make healthier choices every time you’re in the drive-through.  Better yet- skip the drive through and eat what you’ve got at home or pack a meal for the car!

cost-effective & healthy- the classic brown bag lunch!


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fighting the february flab

3 02 2010

I thought my jeans were tight the other day because I had just washed them. Then I noticed some muffin’ stuffin when I looked in the mirror.

thank God that the low-rise jean phenomenon is over!

So it wasn’t quite like the one in the picture, but it was enough for me to do a double take & realize that “dun-laps” (as in “my stomach dun lapped over my belt!) disease had caught up with me this month. It’s easy to freak out and think about cutting all the goodies completely- but when I’ve done this in the past it shoots me in the foot. So, I decided to:

Losing a few pounds over the course of a month is a feasible goal- but to help me get there I decided I needed to set some mini-goals. I like the way I look (and even did when I weighed 20 lbs. more) as my grandma told me as an awkward 7th grader- “honey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Oh, grandma. So wholesome. Anyways- the issue is more about clothes fitting comfortably, staying on track with healthy eating during the winter months and not giving up because it’s freezing outside and there are warm cookies inside :)

Since it’s the easiest thing to do, I decided to resume a more active pursuit of Strive For Five each week to get my five fruits/veggies a day, set an exercise goal of strength training three times a week and cardio (walking) twice a week. I think the other thing that’s helped the muffin-top develop is well, all the muffins I’ve been eating. I love to bake and it’s so cozy to bake in the winter. But then all those chocolate chip cookies, lemon pound cakes and peach muffins stick around my house (and my waistline a little too long). That, coupled with less exercise = the fight of the february flab.

So, anyone else setting out this month to keep up their new years resolutions, starting to tone up for summer or drop a few pounds in the next month? What are your mini-goals? I


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january good reads

1 02 2010

During my sabbatical I’ve been in uber-nerd mode reading like crazy. I am on a study sabbatical, so it’s what I am supposed to do & I’ve really been enjoying it. If you’re looking for something good to read during these long winter months here are some of the books I’ve enjoyed:

Books for class:

Sister Aimee: The Life of Aimee Semple McPherson

While most biographers take a fairly negative view on this woman who paved the way for modern evangelism, Epstein treats her well without glossing over the negative areas in her life and ministry. It was fascinating and inspiring to read about this prominent female evangelist! It was also a good warning for what can happen to leaders when they are burned out, try to vindicate themselves or are misunderstood by the public.

Other books for class: The Making of A Leader by J. Robert Clinton. This seminal book on leadership is a must read. I had learned some of the principles over the years working for InterVarsity but it was great to read them from the source.

That the World May Believe- The Life of John R. Mott. An insightful look at a man who believed God wanted to work powerfully in a generation of students to change the world. I was amazed to read that he won the Nobel Peace Prize for mobilizing people to care for war-torn areas in Europe.

Books for Personal Development:

Climate Control: Improving Communication with Your Spouse by Creating a Healthy Environment
This book isn’t even out yet but I was asked by Al Hsu at InterVarsity Press to review it. It was difficult to keep my “reviewers hat” on because it was so helpful as a wife to learn about ways I can improve my marriage & communication with Dave. I highly recommend reading it when it comes out this year!

Out of the SaltShaker & into the World. O.k. this is kind of embarrassing. I’ve never read this book before. It was voted by Christianity Today as one of the top 50 books that have shaped evangelicals. In addition to that, it’s by a woman evangelist! I even had breakfast with the author, Rebecca Pippert at Urbana a few years ago to ask her questions and advice about being a woman proclamation evangelist. I sure as heck didn’t tell her that I hadn’t ever read her book. There is just no excuse for not reading this sooner but I’m glad that I am now! I’m about 1/2 way through it.

Books for Fun:

The Soup Peddler’s Slow & Difficult Soups. This has been such a fun read! I haven’t tried any of the recipes yet but I’m looking forward to whipping up a pot of Armenian apricot soup this week thanks to this funky recipe included in this book. It’s a great story of a guy who was sick of the corporate world, moved to a hippie area in Austin, Texas and began selling soup from the back of his yellow bicycle. He has a great vocabulary and a knack for shaping a story in such an amusing way. Plus, since it’s winter it’s nice to have a few new soup recipes to try to stay warm. None of his soups actually look all that difficult to make- he does make his stock from scratch, but you could easily sub in canned broth for any of his recipes. I’ve been reading this before I go to bed, which hasn’t been the greatest idea because I go to sleep hungry for soup!

What have you been reading lately? Anything fun? I’d love some parenting book recommendations now that I’ve got a toddler!


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Categories : books, cooking, food, grad school

losing weight is easy- maintaining a healthy weight is hard!

26 01 2010

One year ago I set out to lose 10lbs. I set a reasonable goal of trying to do this in 10 weeks- 1 lb. a week. By the end of 8 weeks I had lost 10 and then, continuing the healthy habits I had been practicing, I lost another five! Over the next three months I lost another five simply by maintaining the habits I had begun initially to lose weight. Thankfully this hasn’t been a quick-fix plan to shed some junk in my trunk, but a lifestyle of honoring God, my health and the one body I’ve been given in this lifetime to enable me to work, play and care for others.

Maybe you’re trying to lose weight this year- maybe you’ve been trying for awhile. When I began to intentionally try to care for my body better I wondered “once I hit my goal weight what happens next? Well, one year later here are a five things I’ve learned that have helped me stay within 3-5 pounds of my target weight.

  1. I can apply my love of learning and variety to eating and food.  When I began to try and eat 5 fruits/veggies a day, I suddenly needed to find more ways to keep it interesting so I would continue to enjoy eating healthy.  Rather than seeing cooking as a necessary evil, I began to see it as a place to learn, experiment and enjoy the diversity of food that God has given us.
  2. All or nothing thinking is of the devil. I’m not kidding. When I begin to think “I’ve failed at eating well!” when I help myself to a second cupcake and then continue to eat that way, this sets me up for failure.  Balance has been key. If I make choices to eat foods that are more rich in fat and calories one day, I try to exercise a little more the next day or to eat foods that are low-calorie/high fiber/low fat i.e. fruits and veggies the next day. Food isn’t bad or good. Some food have more calories and fewer nutrients. I would go crazy if I never ate McDonald’s fries for the rest of my life. It’s been amazing to see that when I try and apply a more balanced view to eating and exercise, it positively impacts the way I view other areas of my life.
  3. Weight, just like money is not static.  A bank balance goes up and down. There are times of the year that I have extra cash and less cash. I don’t let my bank account define my worth, so why should I let my weight?  I’ve found that staying in a range rather than a specific number has been helpful and knowing what a healthy range is for my frame. I’ve tried to stay within 3-5 pounds of the mid-range of what a healthy weight should be for a person of my size. Even knowing what this range has been is really helpful. It can be tempting to think I need to keep losing weight to be in the lower range, but I’d rather stay in the middle than make myself miserable by obsessing about eating and exercising.
  4. Small choices make a big impact.  20 minutes of exercise, the choice to eat an apple instead of a handful of chips, or being strategic about when I splurge has helped me to develop an integrated way of thinking about eating. Every choice that I make impacts my long-term health; whether I’ll be more prone to heart disease, adult diabetes, osteoporosis and all kinds of other ailments that can be impacted by weight and exercise. Plus, I’ve found that when I do take even that small amount of time to exercise, it helps me to think more clearly, sleep better and have a more positive outlook. Especially in these dreary winter months, I need exercise to help me stay positive!
  5. I take my measurements once a week. Scales can be deceptive depending on time of day, how much water I’ve drank, etc.  Apparently this is one of the things they do at Weight Watchers to help people measure progress.  I’ve found that when I take my measurements it helps me not to freak out if the scale says I’ve gained weight. Plus, it helps me to know my measurements when I’m ordering clothes online.  As Shakira says “my hips don’t lie”  even if the scale does :)

It has felt so nice to be comfortable in my own skin- to not have my clothes feel too tight or too baggy, to not be winded going up and down the stairs or chasing my son, and to look in the mirror and say “dang! I look good today!” as opposed to “dang! I’d look great if I lost 5 pounds!” I really do believe that part of the learning process has been learning to view my body as God does- I’m treasured, valued and created to enjoy life! In the long run, feeling bad about yourself is a terrible motivator for losing weight and being healthy. Plus, do you really think God wants you to walk around all day berating yourself for what you’re eating or how you’re not exercising?

Since I’ve been able to learn how to integrate healthy eating and regular exercise into my routine my next goal is to focus on toning my body and getting stronger. I’ve loved doing yoga, the way it makes me feel and look. BTW- the 12 days of yoga challenge I did last month….I ended up doing 7/12 days. Which, as the month got progressively more crazy I realized that I probably even wouldn’t have done that much yoga if I hadn’t set a goal of trying to do 12 sessions during December.  Some exercise is always better than none!

What are your goals for the next few months? What helps you to stay motivated?  I’m shooting to do yoga 3x/week and to walk outside twice. My friend Gracee asked for recommendations of swimsuits the other day & I found this one that I just love!

so cute! I'm a sucker for vintage.


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Categories : exercise, food, inner world, Uncategorized

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