Sidewalk Theologian

It can feel a little awkward- your kid is better at doing something than someone else’s and you feel bad about it.  When Reuben turned 1 people would say things like “I’ll bet he’ll be walking any day!” But he didn’t until he was 16 months old.  Other moms & dads would then say things like “my friend Hermione’s baby didn’t walk until he was 21 months old!” like that was supposed to make me feel better?  In contrast I can remember hanging out with another mom when he was three months old who got really upset because her daughter of the same age wasn’t babbling as much as Reuben.

This got me thinking about the question: When is it o.k. to express pride in your kid? Obviously you want to make sure to tell them that you’re proud of them when they do something that is praiseworthy. Though Reuben is only two I was so proud of him at dinner the other night when he wanted to pray for our Nigerian friend Usche who had only stayed with us for one night.  I’m thankful and proud that he knows prayer is a normal part of our lives. I’m proud that he can speak clearly, is a good eater and picked up potty training pretty quickly.  But I also had to wonder- how much of that is just him being who God created him to be? An ambitious little guy who has always been surrounded by people talking to him and has figured out that when he talks to them, they listen, laugh & think its ridiculously cute.

my talkative little man

When Reuben was still a baby we wouldn’t even tell other parents about his sleeping patterns for fear they’d knife our eyes out- he slept through the night, like 6 hours at a time when he was 3 months old.  Again, we tried our best to get him to have good sleeping patterns, eating patterns, etc. But we also know other parents who have done the same things whose kids still won’t sleep through the night at 2, who will only eat mac & cheese & can’t enunciate very well.  These people are good parents! So I have to wonder how much of it is the kid just being who they are, and how much of it is the parent?  Even if you don’t have kids, do you ever feel weird expressing pride over something you’ve done? Or do you dismiss it as “just something I do.”  One of my friends Todd who started a clothing company Toddland is someone I admire that has a healthy dose of pride- “I make rad things” is his motto but he isn’t obnoxious about it.  As Rob Bell once said about the gospel; “if you don’t even smoke the stuff you’re selling, what makes you think anyone else will?” true dat.

I preached at my church a few weeks ago on Psalm 121 on the theme “Can I get a little help here.”   You can listen to it here:

preachin'

\”Can I get a little help here?\”

Or find it on this site: http://www.madisonsquarechurch.org/resources/sermon_recordings.php

Enjoy & be encouraged!

Last week Dave got a call from an Nigerian InterVarsity student in North Dakota looking for a place to stay for her brother in Grand Rapids. “He’s taking a test at GVSU and needs somewhere to stay for 2 weeks” she explained 4 days before his planned arrival. Dave scrambled trying to find someone for Ushce (oo-che) to stay with that actually have a guest bedroom instead of our couch. No go. Friday arrived, his sister called again & when we told her that we hadn’t found anywhere for him to stay, she assuredly replied “I’m sure something will work out.”

By Sunday when his bus arrived from his college in upstate NY and he called Dave to pick him up we still had found no where for him to stay. We were stressed about having him stay on our couch while we were potty training Reuben & Dave is gearing up for the school year. However, between Friday and Sunday I had thought a lot about hospitality, and more accurately I felt like Jesus was reminding me about what hospitality is when you profess to follow his teachings.  It is often easy for me to believe what most of American culture affirms is true hospitality- a gorgeous home, the right plates to serve food from and a private guest room and bathroom for your visitor to enjoy. Over the years of hosting students in our home Jesus has slowly changed my perspective on hospitality, and this latest opportunity to host Usche, a Nigerian international student who has only been in the U.S. for a year, started to feel like more of an opportunity than an inconvenience.

As I thought about what it would be like for Usche to stay on our couch for two weeks the words of Jesus’ parable about what it means to live out your faith when people who are looking for help: “I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in…I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” I started to realize that hosting Usche wasn’t going to be an inconvenience at all- it was a privilege to have an opportunity to let what I believe translate into hospitality for one of God’s people.

Though we did find a place for him to stay with a private room for the next few days we were blessed by his presence in our home.  As he shared about life back in Nigeria we found out that he had been part of the Nigerian Christian Union, a sister organization of InterVarsity’s in the U.S. Amazing how you can find connections with people all over the world! Reuben loved having him here as well, praying at dinner “God bless Mr. Usche!” and “I like Mr. Usche, he’s a boy! He likes to play trains with me!”

Mr. Usche and Reuben

It made me think about the kind of home we want Reuben to grow up in- where hospitality is more about opening up your life with who you are what you do have than worrying about not being able to provide the “right” things or being inconvenienced by an unexpected guest. It’s times like this that remind me that following Jesus is about the daily choices we make about caring for others and I hope our home will continue to be a place where people can enjoy a good meal, some conversation and a giant inflatable air mattress to rest their tired bodies at night.

Day three of potty training. After I woke up yesterday the first thought to enter my mind was: “I can’t believe I’m going to do this all over again.” Thankfully I have an awesome husband who is squeezing in work and switching off with me every few hours to help our son get some “potty power.”

Today felt like a great victory. Three times in one hour Reuben said “I have to go pee-pee!” and he actually went on the toilet! We must be getting in the homestretch of bladder control

Besides just looking cute in his Thomas undies Reuben likes to take off the potty seat, flush and then close the lid of the toilet when he’s done. Can you believe this?  Unprovoked putting the toilet seat DOWN? He is going to make some woman very happy one day.

I’ve been thinking for awhile about women, particularly mothers that inspire me.  A few weeks ago I was thinking about my grandmother Leep. We were never particularly close, mostly because we lived 8 hours away and also because I was young enough not to know that as an introvert, I would need to really sit down and talk with my grandmother if I wanted to get to know her. When we did visit her a few times a year she was busy cooking, cleaning and doing laundry- the stuff that had filled most of her life as a wife of a potato farmer who was mom to 8 kids.  It was only after she died in 2001, three months before my wedding that I really started to value and respect what a faithful person she was. When I was younger, I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t think much of my grandma “the housewife.”  Now that I’m a mom of 1 kid I’m blown away to think that she cooked for 8 kids, baked bread from scratch and kept their socks gleaming white when they lived in the thick muck soil of Kalamazoo county farmlands. amazing. She also had a good sense of humor, quiet but good. Her name was Fannie. My Grandfathers name was Heinz, but she called him Heiney. Fannie & Heiney

There are a few other bad mamma-jammas that inspire me to keep going, be faithful and to do my thang (and occasionally look cute while doing it). I’d love to see whose on you’re “bad mamma jamma list” of women that inspire you!  In no particular order….

Gwen Stefani: I bump Gwen on Pandora when I run- I especially love her song “what you waiting for?” I like to do some rocky balboa air punches when I’m pounding the pavement when this song comes on. Plus- do I even need to say it? She’s one hot mamma-jamma! I’ve always admired her unique style, entrepreneurial spirit (she launched her fashion line L.A.M.B. in 2004), and lyrics that work through what life is like as a mom, artist and wife. There are actually times when I feel like some of the questions she asks in her lyrics are as vulnerable than most of the books I’ve read/conversations I’ve had about life as a working mom. Granted, she has a million-dollamusic  contract and I, well, never will.

Brenda Salter-McNeil: I first heard her preach at Urbana 2000 in a seminar about engaging in global mission.  I’ve heard her preach a few times since then and have always been amazed at how she is able to be herself and speak powerfully into peoples lives. A wife, mom, author, speaker and a reverend Dr. (hello, Rev. DR??!! with 2 kids) she is leading people in reconciliation with God and one another all over the world. Mad props to her husband as well to encourage her to lead how God has called her- it is inspiring to see couples like this serving God together.

anointed to preach and serve!

I have no idea why this image has stuck with me for so long. I was inspired by it when I watched the news coverage last fall, probably because I was still a relatively new mom and had just started running.

This is Paula Radcliffe who won the NYC Marathon last fall.  I loved that she grabbed her 9 month old daughter & the British flag & waved her waif like arm in victory at the finish line. I imagined mothers across the country watching this (myself included) and groaning- “are you kidding me? Her body looks like THAT 9 months after giving birth???!!!” And simultaneously thinking, “well shoot, if Paula can run a marathon, surely I can get another spoonful of peas in my babys mouth and change that stank diaper. I will run the marathon of being a good mom.”

I will never be able to run like Paula Radcliffe (thanks mom for those genes of being a shortie but again, I love that she is pursuing her dream and being a mom.

I’d love to know who inspires you to dream your dreams, work hard & keep running the mom marathon even if it is proverbial.  Who is on your bad-mamma-jamma list? If I’ve tagged you it’s because you inspire me to do these things and I’m encouraged by you. As Kanye West says “go head girl, go head get down!”